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"Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant"

— THE REALEST THING I HAVE EVER READ (via lilwombatprincess)

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dicklover3000:

sexting
"My problem is that I fall in love with words, rather than actions. I fall in love with ideas and thoughts, instead of reality. And it will be the death of me."

— (via gedankenspektrum)

"'I will be very careful the next time I fall in love', she told herself. Also, she had made a promise to herself that she intended on keeping. She was never going to go out with another writer: no matter how charming, sensitive, inventive or fun they could be. They weren't worth it in the long run. They were emotionally too expensive and the upkeep was complicated. They were like having a vacuum cleaner around the house that broke all the time and only Einstein could fix it. She wanted her next lover to be a broom."

— Richard Brautigan, Sombrero Fallout (via observando)

nunderwater:

kids that mix their play-doh colors are the reason global warming exists

“why” “because i said so” good one mom you should be a lawyer

phobias:

why you should date me; i’m 6’6 so if we go to concerts you can ride on my shoulders and see everything 

plantkitten:

u have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting 

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824706:

tacobell-canon:

Ladypug.

i hate this
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blkdzn:

bye
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greathaircut:

million dollar idea for a men’s hygiene product: shower helmets for when you see yourself reflected on the shower glass and try to headbutt the naked male encroaching on your territory

ussawesome:

when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man